"I told you so!" (picture is of me and my ex)

Is there really anything worse than being told... "I told you so," when you are down in the dumps?

That is what has been my life this entire week. Through tons of people saying "good" "you're so stupid" "I told you to think about it," I had to sit or stand and smile my fake smile.

But every time I come down stairs with my stuff animal bunny and my ex's hoodie my parents figure out i am in a sad sad mood. It is really hard when my parents didn't like my ex in the first place (my ex is the guy i mentioned in the last entry). I like him a lot and when my mom says "good," after my not so friendly acquaintance tells her that me and my ex broke up, it really hurts. It is hard to pull through it each day but sometimes you just have to cross over bridges that you must work hard to build. You get headaches and end up crying cause you are tired of having to keep trying to build that bridge but once you finish you can tell the world you made it over.

I should really take my own advice...

We're all depressed....So why are you laughing

Everyone thinks their lives are the worst... and when you get to talking about it you realize it really could be worse. I know my life isn't half bad compared to my friend's alcoholic father, my other friend's sister have to see her cheating fiance, and so much more. You hear these stories and you don't think maybe that could be me sometime, living through a scary situation that completely haunts you for the rest of your life.
Its not something to laugh about. You wouldn't laugh if you had to go through one of those situations so why would you laugh at your friends. I know this girl who laughs at the most inappropriate times. She heard that her ex was cutting himself and she laughed...her dad yelled at her she laughed...and worst off while all of her friends are moping around this morning....she goes and laughs with her boyfriend all over her.
Boyfriends don't come first and neither should girl friends. Both her and her boyfriend have lost the majority of their friends because they won't get off of eachother. And people wonder why I don't like her anymore. Its because for two seconds she can't even hug her friends anymore, for two seconds she can't take a simple second to get up and not talk about her boyfriend.
So yeah life could always be worse but it can also always be better.

Home Time

So I was out to dinner with my family today..."zoning out." Well I was actually listening to this little almost 5 year-old hispanic girl sitting with two caucasion adults.
"Can I have home time on Monday?" said the hispanic girl.
"No honey. You only have two home days this week." said the caucasian woman.
"No I have three." said the girl.
"No. Just Saturday and Sunday."
"No. Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday." said the girl
It makes you wonder how confusing that girl's life must be. A life where she has to schedule time to go "home." Where is home to her?
"Did you come here just to see your dad?" said the caucasian man.
The girl nodded her head slowly and then whispered to the woman. At first I thought maybe the woman was her mother and the man was the mother's new boy friend. The little girl was frightened of the new man coming into her life and the mom was forcing her to confront that fear; telling her to talk to the man. That girl was afraid, and she just wanted life to be the way it "used" to be for her. Maybe her mother and father were fighting a lot, but that didn't matter, they were together. And that hispanic girl can't just randomly start to trust another "father-figure."
So as I sat and listened to this "family" (a hispanic child, and two caucasian adults) talk, I wondered how hard a life that young girl must have been through, and I realized life for me could always be worse.

Not Quite Over You

Ever since November of 2009 it is hard to look at my ex the same way. Its almost as if everytime I see his face I want to cry or punch a wall. My best friend is his sister so it is hard to even go over to her house without trying to impress him at the same time. I don't even want him back...I just want to show him what he is missing, what he could have had.
You know when you go through a break up and the other person says you "can still be friends." It never ends up that way. You and that other person will stop talking for a year or longer which is what happened with my ex. Then they just don't want to be your friend ever again.
I wonder why that always happens. Sometimes you see people begging to be taken back while others quickly move on (cough cough my ex). Its hard to watch the other person move on sometimes but you just have to go through with it. Thats how relationships work out sometimes.